My childhood memories of nanna is still very clear… those dark bulky palms holding me, cheerful smile when he used talk to us, that naughty smirk on face when he taunted amma playfully, the way he used fight with amma to give just 2 rupees for daily veggies and the passionate way he protected our family.
Today is 22nd anniversary of his leaving us, In a lot of ways all of us have overcome the grief, the pain of missing him and also we have filled that void with many events, people etc. However it does not really justify the loss his presence amidst us. Maybe we have compromised that this is also fine. But deep in all our hearts we know that he was one of most influential persons in our lives and maybe many lives as we hear our friends & cousins. Whenever anybody says a praise in his name or remembers — him our hearts swell with pride to be his children. We are never tired of hearing it and also want to hear more of him. Perhaps, this is how you leave your indelible mark on this earth — in the minds of few people who matter.
On that fateful morning of 9th May 1998, when everyone woke up as normally, we were shattered to find that the pillar of our family had gone. The person who had taken care of me for more than 25 years and who would influence the rest of my life was no more. It took mere 12 hours for us to finish all the formalities, but the memories and values of nanna would continue to be with me for rest of years. I didnt imagine this, that I would still feel that same amount longing and … Gut wrenching pain every time to remember him on each morning of 9th May every year.
There are many events with nanna that i can never forget. One of them being that — when i was playing in the backyard of the house, a rusted nail pierced into my foot. And as i started crying, i saw that nanna saw me from the grill of the bathroom which faced the backyard. I was in pain, however I distinctly remember him coming running to me up within 1 minutes and carrying me back to home to dress the wound. Even today, the sense of security i felt when he carried me back home… still lingers and makes me smile.
There were many such incidents — which were small at that time, but gives me a pride of being his son. I have always felt and strive that, even if i am 50% of my father, my life would be a a great success (And I guess it is…).
I am more than sure that if he was around, he would be very proud of me. I might faltered a bit for here and there, but overall, i have always tried to do my bit of keeping the honor of what he started and tried to improve a little every year on that as much as possible.
Today — again we not only remember him on his anniversary, but also celebrate his life, not just with formalities, but by trying to lead our lives in the same jest and fervor that he carried throughout his life.
Love you Nanna… Miss you…
